Monday, January 11, 2016

I Can Smell You...

Okay, so here's a weird fact about me: I like to sniff things.

Yes, yes, very weird...but let's not dwell on what you're probably starting to imagine or think: what have you been poking your nose into?  Or...what have you been sniffing?

Moving on.

I honestly don't know when it first started...although I do know that I wasn't always so...sniffy.  I also know that this is a bad habit...and I'm...not really working toward amending this habit of mine.  My mom keeps telling me that I should stop because one day, I will sniff something, or many somethings, and it will be very, very bad...mold might find its way up my nose, or something equally horrifying...okay, eww...I could have phrased that better...

I've also been known to twitch or scrunch up my nose quite often (like a rabbit...?), according to my mom, anyway.  Apparently, it's unappealing, and I should stop doing it...another habit I probably won't be stopping anytime soon.  Sometimes, I do it on purpose, just to annoy my mom, other times, it's purely a subconscious thing...a subconscious reflex? 

So...I guess I'll start off with some things that I often smell, intentionally or unintentionally.

  • books-this one is usually intentional.  Be it new books or library books, I always have this urge to bring them up to my nose and sniff sounds weird, but I know I'm not the only one.  It's the smell of KNOWLEGE!

  • food-now this one is a given, right?  I mean, who doesn't smell their food?  Wouldn't you want to know if your food had a moldy smell?  I sure would.  Or...doesn't the pleasant aroma of baked goods or other food enhance the actual eating of the food, at least?  The more unusual part about my sniffing of food is that the scent the food emits will determine whether or not I will willingly eat it.  If something smells off, or odd...there's a good chance my opinion of the food in question will decrease greatly...
That fish looks disgusting, but I'm not a cat, so.
  • people-okay, now...this may sound downright creepy...but I promise you it's completely unintentional, most of the time.  People walk past me, and the air that whooshes past me just happens to smell like them...and that very same air also happens to be something I need to breathe in if I want to continue living.  It's not my fault they walk so close, it's not my fault they use overly strong shampoo or perfume/cologne.  After a while, I noticed that everyone had a unique scent.  And it was definitely interesting...I think I have subconsciously assigned people a personality based on their smell...I kinda wonder what I smell like...I mean, does sniffing yourself count?  You're around yourself all the time, so maybe you need a person who's not you to tell you what you smell like?  Does that even make any sense?

  • a guy's jacket/sweater/hoodie/shirt-okayokayokayokayokay!  Now, I may not know what you're thinking, but I do know what some of you might be thinking...and well...oooh, I'm not sure how to explain this one properly...I added this one onto my list on a whim, because, you ever read a book where the female protagonist describes the joys in wearing a guy's *insert guy's item of clothing here* and having that smell of him on her?  I certainly have.  Apparently some guys smell like pine needles and snow on a winter day, or coconut and other tropical scents.  Some books have described guys as having an earthy, musky or woodsy smell.  I've even heard of guys smelling like dewdrops, freshly fallen rain and all that good stuff.  What does "musk" even smell like?  According to a certain dictionary, it's supposed to smell like the skin of the abdomen of the male musk dear.  My next question would be: what on earth do musk deer smell like?!  It seems like guys are known to emit nice smells (they are described as such, anyway)...I want to test this out, or rather, sniff this out for myself...buuut, knowing me...I've never gotten close enough to a guy to actually sniff him, let alone wear his clothing.  Well, there was this one time in English 9 when a guy came over to the "girl's side" of the room to talk to a girl sitting four seats away from me, and his cologne or deodorant was so ridiculously nose stung, my eyes may have even watered a little...yeck...
Now...some things that I really don't like smelling but usually have no choice in the matter:

  • sharpie-my sister loves using sharpie, and ever since I heard that the smell of sharpie kills brain cells, I immediately fostered a strong disliking for it.  Then there was this time in school where I had to spend quite a long time writing out words on a poster with it too...grr.

  • paint-I only added this one because our tenants downstairs have recently painted (I'm guessing) something, and gaaah!  It's really strong up here, or maybe it's just my super sensitive nose.  But either way, I am so tired of smelling paint, it's especially strong in my room for some unfathomable reason.  I've also heard that this is a toxic fume that could kill brain cells.  How unfortunate for me, huh?  Goodbye precious brain cells....I'm sorry you had to go so soon.

  • drugs/smoke-oooh, this is one I really can't stand.  Not only does it not do any favours for my health, it's unpleasant to smell, too.  Unfortunately, it can't be helped.  Everywhere I go, I'm bound to see or smell someone who smokes.  The smell of marijuana, or cannabis is also extremely evident especially during crazy big outdoor events such as the fireworks on Canada Day, or New Year's Eve, or the Honda Celebration of Light (this is one of those events where we'd have to get there an hour or so earlier to get a good who's forced to breathe in polluted air for more seconds than she'd like?) competition that I usually go see every year (except this year, because of...reasons...sigh).  Like the people smelling, I don't really have much of a choice...unless I decide to quit breathing, I'll be inhaling the noxious smell until they finish...aaargh!

  • mom's stinky feet-I'm sure you've smelled stinky feet sometime in the many years of your existence, whether it's yours or someone else's...what do they smell like?  The stinky feet?  Well, my mom's feet stink.  If you think you have feet fouler than my mom''d be wrong.  I'd challenge you to a Battle of the Feet Stinks, but there's no point, because my mom would win.  Really.  My mom's feet smell so outrageously bad, it makes my eyes water marshmallows, my nose drip blood, and my pores secrete fire breathing kittens me scrunch my nose in disgust and utter obscenities (no swearing for me...just creatively violent fruits doing violent things).  Wow...I'm so glad my mom doesn't have the link to my blog...otherwise...wait, actually, I don't think she would care enough to read it if she had the link I'm not too worried... in point: I have this weird urge to sniff out smells, and I have a strong disliking to unpleasant odours. 

My mom (wow, I mention her a lot, don't I?) tells me I should be a perfume specialist or a chef because of my excellent sense of smell.  A chef? cooking abilities are very limited, and embarrassingly inadequate for a female (yes, I know, how stereotypical of me, right?  But I do have to feed myself in the future...). 

My mom (oh look, I'm mentioning her again!), fabulous as she is, sometimes brings food for me if I'm staying at school past 3:03pm...and because our lunches are pitiful, she usually also makes something for us to devour when we come home (on days when I don't have to stay in school after the bell).  Once I get home, I'd usually be able to guess the food by the smell.

And this one time, I correctly guessed what food she cooked at home while I was still in the car!  Now that time had nothing to do with my sensitive nose, it was just pure luck.  My mom says that of my five senses, my sense of smell is the best...and to that I say:  Maybe your nose is just plugged and you don't know it.  Maybe my little sister and brother smell it too, but they are quiet folk, whereas I'm the loudmouth in my family.

You know, sometimes I feel like a dog, sniffing out an unknown scent.  If I catch a whiff of something peculiar, unless I'm stuck somewhere or have urgent responsibilities to attend to, I'll most likely follow my nose and track down whatever's giving off the smell.

Sometimes, if I see something interesting, or if you give me something I don't see everyday and looks like it might smell interesting (mind you, something reasonable, okay?  You won't catch me sniffing anything that looks like turd or rusty nails or...anything else that you and I know not to smell)...chances are...I'll be tempted to sniff that wrong?  It sounds weird, for sure...buuuut....

Of the five senses, which is your strongest?  Weakest?  Thoughts on my weird habits?

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