Tuesday, February 14, 2017

...Valentine's Day!

....hey guys!

And girls!
*hey Gilf, hope you don't mind that I'm writing about this....

Valentine's Day!








Valentine's Day.

Let's get started.

So....I feel like Valentine's Day is one of those....days where you either love it or you hate it?

People in healthy...romantic relationships love it...and people in...not so healthy relationships don't? Some people who aren't in a relationship might hate it as well.  Or they might not!  Whose to say!?

So....readers...if you've been following along from my other posts....you know Gilf.  My wonderful, lovely, super awesome Gilf.  And...people....let's stress the MY, okay?  MINE.  No touchy-touchy or looky-looky, no point, cause he mine.

Now....I'd like to think that Gilf and I have a fabulous, trusting, loving relationship.  Of course I would!  Of course...not everyone KNOWS, and some think that we're actually just really great friends....but that's beside the point here.  So...you would think that Gilf and I had a great time together on Valentine's Day, no?  

Yeah, that's what I thought, too.


Well....let me list out some of the...problems we had, okay?
  • We didn't get to meet!  Now this one is...frustrating!  
  • He lives super far away.  Kinda related to the first one.
  • He has a bunch of homework to do.  Also kinda related to the first one.
  • I would have to ask my mother for permission to meet him...and she would probably say no.
And that's only SOME of the issues we had!

So...school.  My school.  We had singing telegrams.  About a week ago, students could go to the main hall to buy these...singing telegrams.  If you don't know what they are....well....think of them as...a singing message...you buy for people....!

Wait....who am I kidding.  It's kinda self-explanatory, isn't?  Most of you probably know what a telegram is...and....what singing is, so.....MOVING ON.

Someone bought me one of these singing telegrams...to be more specific...someone bought me...this one!

This is only the second singing telegram I've gotten.  I got one last year...and you can read all about it HERE.*  It was quite lovely!

*WHOA.  I just re-read the post....and....it was LAST Valentine's Day...meaning....WHOA.  It's been a year.  A YEAR!  And....scarily....I can't tell if my writing has gotten better or worse since then.
*Also, side note: last year's Valentine's Day post is still on my list of "Popular Posts", that's kinda....incredible!  Think you can get this one up there, too?  I'm challenging you!

Now....I'm no popular girl.  Not a popular girl at all!  No one notices me at school...I don't really have any friends...no one cares about little 'ol me.  So, yes.  I'm making a confession now.  Take note if you wish.

I love receiving singing telegrams.  They make me feel special.

I can't put enough emphasis on that, actually.  I've been feeling down....feeling like what I say, think, or do doesn't matter....and....when someone does something like this....it makes me feel special. People have to pay for these, you know?

The fact that someone would spend money on me....me, is....is.....it blows my mind!

*side note: how crazy is it that I was kinda hoping that this year, Gilf would decide it's worth the trouble to contact someone from my school and buy one for me?  I know, it sounds crazy...but....it would be so sweet of him, and I'm pretty sure I'd cry because of how incredibly thoughtful he was....gosh, my eyes are starting to water right now just thinking of it.  Guess these kinds of things don't really exist...only in movies 

People could have also bought roses and chocolates for them.  Combo deal, guys.  Roses, chocolate, and a song to woo...all for only $6!

I saw some girls carrying....up to six roses!  Like...wow.

I'm not gonna lie.  I wish I had gotten a rose, too.  No one has ever given me flowers before.  Except my parents...and that was only for my dance performances....once a year.  Truth be told, I think they also felt pressured to do it since all the other parents were buying their kids flowers.....

Anyways.....yes, a rose would have been lovely.  I would have jumped with glee!  My heart would have smiled a huge, white smile, figuratively, of course....because literally...that would be kinda scary.

Don't get me wrong though....I am incredibly grateful to the person who bought me a singing telegram.  Roses or no.  Thank you.  You made my day....well....at least...until someone ruined it again.  Shall I explain?  Hmm...yes, I think I shall.


The bell signalling the end of school rang, I pack my bag and get ready to go.  I take out my phone with one purpose in mind.  To tell my best friend about the craziest thing that just happened, and how it made me incredibly happy.

If you haven't already guessed....that person would be Gilf.  You see....even though Gilf and I are....together in a....romantic way (shh!), before that, he was my friend.  Is my friend.  He is still my friend.  My best friend.  I may have only met him a little more than a year ago...but in that year, I've gotten closer to him than I have with any other friend I've had/have.

Anyways....I start to tell Gilf about this singing telegram that I got....still glowing with happiness....and expecting him to be happy with me about that....but....well.....um......you see....unfortunately.....I...he....we.....uh......suffice to say he wasn't happy.  Far from it, actually.

Now, I won't get into too much detail here, but....his anger and frustration at my news....well....it was like...being at the top of 999 flights of stairs and getting kicked down 999 flights of stairs.  Or, we could also use that popular phrase....getting punched in the stomach.  Or was it gut?  No...I think it was stomach....
*Side note: I was kinda disappointing in his reaction....I was going to praise him the last time something like this happened and he didn't overreact....good thing I haven't....otherwise I would have spoke too soon...
Or this....this person...how sad.  Everything....knocked....down.

He wasn't happy.....which made me kinda sad.

I know he wasn't happy about not getting to spend Valentine's Day together....but....is it so much to ask to be just a little happy for me?  Be happy...with me?

Apparently, it was.

I was so prepared to tell him everything.  Tell him what happened....who performed...how they performed....how I reacted....how I felt.....

But.....he didn't really care....I don't think he really wanted to know the details....*
*remember that post from a while ago where I mourned the death of my opinions?  They died of neglect.  I didn't know they could die any more than they already have....but...any shred of life they had...definitely gone now if even my best friend doesn't really care about what I wanted so desperately to tell him.
So...being the good friend that I am, I shove down everything I was prepared to say....and put all my efforts into trying to fix the damage that I had caused.

I even offered to do something we rarely got the chance to do....hoping that it would cheer him up....he's told me before how it's cheered him up....was I wrong in thinking that it would work again?

Well, I tried.  It didn't work.  In fact, it backfired.  And blew up in my face like a bomb!  A bomb....that made my eyes start to water....gosh, I'm never....ever....going to offer to do that again. No way am I going to make a fool of myself again.  No way.  Nuh uh.


Now....not only have I made him upset....I've made myself upset in the process of trying to cheer him up.

Oh, gosh.

What good am I if I can't even cheer up my best friend?  Can I even call myself that anymore?

Forget about all the things I've wanted to tell him about the singing telegram....
Forget telling him about them asking permission to touch.....
Forget telling him about how they told the corniest of jokes....
Forget telling him about the mini disco ball.....
Forget telling him about how they actually dimmed the lights when the lyrics said something about dimming the lights.
Forget telling him about how the guys suddenly got super close to me and made me jump....
Forget telling him about how the class cheered and clapped.....
Forget telling him about how special I felt.....
Forget telling him about how hilarious it was when they re-enacted Titanic using the song My Heart Will Go On...

Forget it.  Forget everything.  No one cares what I think.  People yell at me for being useless, for being dumb, for being....ME.  I sometimes wonder if maybe....maybe if I.....



 I can't do it....I just can't.


Right.  So....let's end off on a more positive note, yeah?

Let's completely forget about Gilf and me right now and think about my mother!

My dad wasn't home...he walked out.  Again.  My sister and I felt bad for her.....so!

We made some excuses...told some questionable truths and found our way to a Safeway to buy our mom a flower!  Of course...the were crazy expensive....Safeway really does know how to reap as much money from their customers as they can, huh?  They knew that anyone buying flowers for Valentine's Day...ON Valentine's Day....must be pretty desperate....so....increase the prices, why don't you?!

Kidding....I don't actually know.

I don't think people would want to buy flowers a month...or even a week in advance because they won't look as nice?  I don't know....maybe people DO buy their flowers on Valentine's Day....someone enlighten me?

When we got home, we presented our flower to my mom, and hugged her.  It was nice.  It wasn't mother's day....but...whatever, close enough.  I love my mom!  And that super expensive rose was definitely worth it!


Now....a note on Gilf.

After re-reading this post....I've realized that I haven't really portrayed Gilf in a very good light....and...you might not be getting the best impression of him....

People....you've heard time and time again that no one is perfect....everyone has flaws....(I have A BUNCH of them!)...so...yes, Gilf might not have looked very good in this post, but, you don't know him like I do.  Only I'm lucky to know him as well as I do!  I PROMISE you, Gilf....Gilf is loyal (to me, anyway), kind, generous, caring, thoughtful, everything I'd want in a boyfriend....and...he.  Is.  STILL MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE.

Sorry....didn't mean to sound overly possessive there!  I adore and cherish him fiercely.  Every flaw, every pimple, everything about him down to the very fine hairs on his arms....I love everything about him!
*hey Gilf, you mine!

And...with that...ladies and gentlemen....I have finished the Valentine's Day post for 2017!
*side note: this might be the most speedy post I've done!  Posting a Valentine's Day post NOT on March 13th?!  Wow!  Congratulate me, guys!

Valentine's Day.  Love it or hate it?  How did yours go?  Better than mine, right?
...or you know what?  Don't answer.  No answer works fine, too.  Not like anyone actually cares.  I'll just go on and continue to be ignored.

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